To some, I’m Ms. Joiner, to others I’m Camille. Yet that doesn’t tell you much about me. Who I am is not an easy thing to quantify. I am at this stage of being and becoming, and I relish at this cross road. It's unfamiliar space that still elicits this sense of belonging. Almost as if I had bought a new house, it is home but I am only beginning to decorate it, to really make it home. As I navigate this territory of being a student and becoming a teacher, I am reminded that, in many ways, I always have been and certainly always will be both. Before I claim to be an aspiring English educator, I claim to be a student of the world around me. Strangers and nature have been some of my greatest teachers. Sometimes I wonder how I am not constantly stumbling around in an inconsolable state of sobbing awe as I am a daily witness to this world and its inhabitants’ beauty and brilliance. 

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This brings me to the here and now. I am working on receiving my bachelor’s degree in English education and am planning on receiving my master’s the following year. This has been a process of learning and unlearning and I am gaining so much for allowing myself to exist within this duality. I am allowing this process to unfold me. I’m allowing what I do know about myself to inform this becoming of my “teacher-self.” 

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This teacher-self is compassionate, she is curious, she is high energy, she is open-minded, she is creative and critical. That is who I am now, but I am learning how these things work with and for my teacher-self--what that looks like and what that feels like. And so far, it feels like a celebration. It's Christmas morning. It's a treasure chest filled with moments of my students surprising me--whether it be something they did or said or didn’t say, but showed me by simply being who they are.

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This journey of becoming has been a gallery walk of what I value. What I value is students being human before students. I value students’ stories, what gives their lives meaning, what makes them starry-eyed and wild-hearted. I value culturally-responsive, justice-oriented, trauma-informed pedagogy. I value teaching emotional intelligence alongside academic intelligence. I value joy as the necessary foundation for my teaching, meeting students where they are at and joyously receiving and responding to the gains they make, no matter how small. I value learning from my students. I value making messes matter and chaos count. I value the inner child that exists within all of us and creating a classroom where we play and learn at the same time. I value co-creation and co-curation. I value giving students the space to tell the stories they want to tell, and empowering them to do so. Most of all, I value teaching by being and leading by example--teaching writing by being a writer, teaching vulnerability by being vulnerable, teaching resilience by being resilient.

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I think back to my childhood and that small child begging for a whiteboard to “play school” with her inordinate amount of Webkinz. That same small child receiving one of those desks with the lift-up tops that all elementary schools had for Christmas, and it being the best gift ever (and, to this day, the most meaningful gift I have ever received). In a way, I have always been at this place of being and becoming and I’m starting to think I always will be. Because this isn’t just a being and becoming a teacher, it is being and becoming myself over and over again. It is growing, exploring, discovering, playing, uncovering, making, remaking, starting, failing, trying again, transforming messes into miracles and magic. It is knowing that that’s really all that we, humans, were placed on this Earth to do; and being a teacher is an opportunity to remind others of that too. To those of you who read all this, thank you for taking this time to read part of my story. In the meantime, I will continue to write mine and empower others to share theirs too.

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In high spirits,

Ms. Joiner

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P.S. You can keep up with me on my bookstagram @anyone.can.book (yes, that IS a Ratatouille reference) and my goodreads!